Fasting - Installment #1: Halacha

One of the most surprising conversations I had at Mayanot with Rabbi Levinger was during one of the fast days. I don’t remember which one it was, or how this came up, but Rabbi Levinger suddenly sputtered incredulously "Mrs. Lowell, are you fasting?!" I know he didn't mean to ask me a personal question but I said "well, yes, given that I'm not pregnant or a mayneket (a woman who gave birth in the past 24 months, whether or not she is actually nursing) - of course I am." His eyes bugged out of his head. "I've never heard of that. Women and girls fasting other than on Yom Kipur?! In Vizhnitz and other chasiduses, women and girls don't do that! And your daughter – she is also fasting?" "Yes, Rabbi, she is over bat mitzvah…" I went off to teach while he was shaking his head.

I am not delegitimizing any other branch's path and didn't spend time researching what they based their psak on. The legal definitions below are what Chabad maintains a woman is obligated in, in terms of fasting.

First and foremost, we need to split the 6 fasts into 3 halachic categories:

1. Yom Kipur

2. Tisha B'Av

3. the other four (Tzom Gedaliah, 10^th of Tevet, Taanit Esther and 17^th Tammuz)

(As a child, I heard a great riddle that helped me remember all the fasts: 1 is short and 1 is long, 1 is male and 1 is female, 1 is black and 1 is white – what am i? Answer: fasts.)

On the most basic level, a healthy non-mommy is obligated in all 6. That said, rabbis tend to be lenient with regard to women fasting the last 4 if it causes them to feel sick/weak/etc. A woman who is either pregnant or a mayneket is exempt from the last four (category 3).

The 2 most stringent fasts, that all are obligated to observe, are Tisha B'Av and Yom Kipur. While they are both important, Yom Kipur is a Torah-given mitzvah and therefore more stringent. Obviously if one has health issues, one needs to consult with their doctor - and friendly-neighbourhood-rabbi - if/how to observe these fasts.

Pregnancy and Tisha B'Av:

One needs to ask their doctor if they may fast. That said, if a pregnant woman is fasting on Tisha B'Av and feels too ill to continue (dizziness, weakness, contractions – whether Braxton-Hicks or real, etc etc) she breaks her fast and eats and drinks normally the rest of the day.

Pregnancy and Yom Kipur:

Assuming your doctor says you can fast, then you fast. If you feel dizzy, weak, etc, then you start what is called "shiurim." (No this doesn't mean going to a Torah lecture.) "Shiur" means "a measurement," a set allocated amount of something. (So a Torah shiur is meant to be explaining an allocated, set portion of Torah. I guess my classes don't count as shiurim LOL!!) So it means eating and drinking the amounts the rabbis determined are enough to restore a person, but not considered officially eating (aka breaking a fast).

This translates to 30gr (about 1.05oz or 2 tbsps) of food every 10 minutes and 30cl (that's 300ml) of liquid every 10 minutes. (This is according to Rabbi Weiner but he told me that there are poskim who are more lenient.) You do not need to stagger the food and drink but rather take a dose of each every 10 minutes.

It is preferable not to use water as the liquid but rather something nutritious that has calories. My old ob-gyn said (back in the day) the best thing to do shiurim with in terms of food is either tehina or halva. He said that those are the best because you are getting the most nutrition per bite, as the sesame paste (either salty or sweet) is a great source of protein, iron and calcium. In terms of the liquid – a non-acidic juice is the best. So if you are pregnant or a mayneket, before a fast, buy whichever of those foods you don't mind eating. If you hate both – cook a small pot of soup and do shiurim on that. Either way, have the option ready and waiting in your fridge/on a blech/Shabbos-hotplate. Worst case scenario is that you won't need it.

One other halachic point – re: davening:

Yes, Yom Kipur is lofty and part of what makes it so, are the services. Being in shul, hearing the chazzan sing the various moving liturgical pieces is uplifting and gives the day its feeling of spiritual significance. It can be a real downer feeling sick and feeling the FOMO by lying in bed trying to make the room stop spinning. (I will address this issue for women in the Tishrei installment be"H.) That said, the most important mitzvah of the day is getting through the fast. If possible, arrange to have an extra pair of hands (sturdy hands, do not take someone feeble!) on deck on any fast day, whether it's a mother/-in-law, sister/sib-in-law, teenage neighbor, etc. This is to help take care of you, should you not feel well, as well as taking care of the children, so that at least your husband will be able to get the most out of this awesome day. It really does take a village.

However, sometimes it's not possible. If a couple doesn't have familial support nearby, then the brunt of helping a wife get through the fast falls on the husband and this can be difficult. A wife and husband both need to have tremendous sensitivity and gratitude towards each other in this situation. A husband has to understand that he has 2 mitzvot on Yom Kipur:

a) making sure he fasts and

b) making sure his wife gets through the fast.

Davening be'yechidus (alone at home) while monitoring a sick wife, (taking care of the kids?) and possibly spoonfeeding her shiurim can be dispiriting, but he can be encouraged by the knowledge that he is doing what Hashem truly wants him to do. He needs to remind himself to be grateful because the reason she is in this situation is due to her act of chesed towards him of carrying his child. (See Shavuos installment #5.) And a woman should be endlessly grateful for her husband's assistance and not fall into the very natural mental trap of thinking "what? It's his job if he's a mentsch!" Gratitude is very much the biggest "terufah lifnei ha-makah" (the medicine that averts the illness) of shalom bayis. And nothing mars the inspiration of Yom Kipur like resentment.

Next installment: practical tips for getting through the fasts in the best way possible.