A. Music – see previous entry
B. Clothing
1) Laundry
It is
forbidden to do laundry during the 9 days. That means one should
try to prepare enough laundry for 9 days in advance. However, as all mommies
know, sometimes when babies teethe, they can get fever and diarrhea, or they
suddenly spit up a lot that particular week and you find yourself going through
3 outfits a day. Not just the baby but you too. We've all been there, honey.
It's not you, it's life. So what do you do when you run out of clothes within
the first 4 days of the 9 days? Try to calculate how much you'll need to get
you through the remaining days and do that load. AND PRAY!!
2) Purchases
a) Clothes/Shoes
This actually happened to me when
YY was little:
He was about 6 y.o. and the 2nd day
of the 9 days he ripped his sandals. He tried on his sneakers from the
winter/spring and sat there crying that they're too small. Also, he was the
first kid, so we had no hand-me-downs to rely on. What to do?
I
don't remember what we did then, but Rabbi Weiner said that halachically
the ideal is to take them to a shoemaker and try to have them fixed first. (This is also true
for clothing. Better to go to a tailor than to purchase new clothes.) If it is
impossible, and the child literally has nothing left to wear, then one may
purchase new shoes/clothes.
b) Toys/Gifts
As mommies, we spend a lot of time with charts
and stickers. For this generation, reward is a much more powerful motivator
than any threat or punishment. The charts work on many mental muscle groups
within the kids: they develop the ability for delayed gratification (such an
important skill!!), cumulative growth, patience, abstract thinking etc. But at
the end of the day, they keep their eye on the prize and wait to receive that
toy/game/whatever they are working towards.
What happens if the end
of the wait falls out during the 3 weeks or 9 days? Answer: because the mitzvah
of chinuch is so important, one may buy prizes to motivate children
during this timeframe and give them their well-earned prize to reward a job
well done.
C. Showering
Showering for
pleasure is forbidden for everyone. Showering for hygiene purposes is
permitted. However, in-line with the rest of Chabad philosophy, one must
constantly check-in with, and push themselves, 1 step out of their comfort-zone.
It is permitted to bathe babies normally (with warm
water) for basic hygiene upkeep. Children who are not yet bar/bat-mitzvah-aged
may bathe with warm/hot water normally. That said, children who are nearing
"gil chinuch," ("the age of education" – 9 y.o. and
up) should already be training to take their own pulse re: "what are my
limits? Am I able to shower with water that is a temperature (colder) that is
outside of my comfort zone?" And should act accordingly. That said, he
also mentioned that there are no set rules re: age because it varies child to
child developmentally. It is the parents' job to be in tune with their child to
know when and how much to challenge each one.
D. Grooming – cutting (all
types of) hair for adults and children
Getting
haircuts, shaving (face and body hair) are forbidden during the 9 days.
Hypothetical
situation (hi hello, been there): let's say you suddenly discover in the
beginning of the 9 days that you or your child has come home with a mighty case
of the 3rd plague. Let's also say that said plague-carrier has long
hair and it would make combing out the plague significantly easier to cut it
shorter. It is permitted to cut the hair to make combing it easier (for either
yourself or the child).
As for women and grooming: if you are the type that
needs to be smooth at all times - wax before the 9 days LOL!
Next Installment be"H: Tips
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