Thursday, February 20, 2020

Installment #6: Mishloach Manot & Matanot L'Evyonim – Halacha and Tips


A) Mishloach Manot

*Halacha

Every man or woman is obligated to give two readily-consumable food items to one person. When a husband gives, then technically, his wife can be considered exempt from his giving. However, if she wishes to give her own mishloach manot, then she has fulfilled a mitzvah. Additionally, each child (male or female) over the age of bar and bat mitzvah is individually obligated to give and is not exempt due to the father's giving. Parents must give their over-bar/bat mitzvah-age kids adequate resources (either food items or money) to fulfill the mitzvah of mishloach manot properly.

Do you hear that? That is the sound of a million Jewish moms fainting.

*Tips:

-Right off the bat I want to point out that at diff points of your life this mitzvah will be performed differently. When you are a mommy, you will be throwing potato chips and chocolate wafers into colourful bags. Other years you will find the energy to bake and assemble more intricate mishloachei manot. It's all good. Do not judge yourself or compare yourself to anybody else. And if you are blessed with daughters, when they are older they will have plenty of time to complain that you are embarrassing them with the mishloachei manot you selected. Until that point, enjoy giving simple ones and invest your energy elsewhere.

-Mishloach manot as X-treme competitive sport and/or an exercise in social guilt can be draining financially and energetically. Pay attention to whom you are giving to and why. Worry less about offending the Goldsteins and the Silvermans and pay attention to the person who might not be on the entire neighbourhood's list and who will really notice receiving a mishloach manot.   

-I feel like often while families are busy fulfilling the mitzvah of mishloach manot, they end up inadvertently transgressing baal tashchit (wasting things like food and/or money). 'Nice' and 'expensive' do not have to be synonymous. Some of my most appreciated mishloach manot were inexpensive. Like the faux-sushi salad I gave last year (see picture below). I let the kids each choose 2-3 types of junk food their friends like and they include that in their mishloachei manot. Balance.

  

B) Matanot L'Evyonim

*Halacha
Everyone is obligated to give charity to two different people in need. The charity needs to be given the day of Purim (so giving it say, Purim night after the night megila reading doesn't count). However a person may appoint someone to give on his behalf, assuming that it gets distributed in the day time of Purim.

*Tip:
-From Rabbi Weiner: Mishloach manot can be a face-saving way to perform matanot le'evyonim. If you know someone struggling financially but refuses to ask for help/take tzedaka, a seuda-friendly mishloach manot is a great way to preserve a fellow yid's dignity and fulfill matanot le'evyonim. 

May our unity and loving-kindness once again bring about Redemption, just as it did 2500 years ago!! Le'chaim ve'livrocha!! 



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