First off we need acknowledge that there are really 2
challenges:
A. erev Pesach B.
leil haseder
And the first sets tone for second. (This ended up becoming
long so I've split this into 2 diff posts for readability.)
A. Erev Pesach
Just like a car without gas simply cannot go, people who
are tired and hungry cannot pay attention. Or as Chasidus would explain it,
when the animal soul doesn’t have its basic needs met, it makes a lot of noise
thereby drowning out the G-dly soul’s voice. There are 4 major challenges
before seder night (obviously there could be more but i’m oversimplifying on
purpose).
Issue #1. Running behind schedule. This is a wider discussion
that I can't tackle this year.
Tip: What I will say is this (for next year imy"H,
or even for the next yomtov): the most important tool that exists for Jewish
mothers is google calendar. Look, think and plan ahead (and when you write it
down/type it up - you don’t need to remember, it will remind you). That said,
there's only so far this works when you have kids. Like when you have to run to
get your child stitches 4 hours before a 2 day yomtov. Been there, done that…
But as much as humanly possible, look ahead.
Issue #2. Assuming you're not running behind and you're
switched over and cooking: having people (kids, guests, etc and this includes
YOU) wandering around hungry. Hungry kids also get into mischief. And it's
annoying because there are many food restrictions erev pesach: no matza or
chametz, (and for Ashkenazim – no kitniyot) - it doesn't leave a lot of
options. So when planning your shabbos and yomtov cooking, always plan
something for erev chag. As Rebbetzin Esther Greenberg ob”m said "Friday
is not one of the 6 fast days." Ok, very nice, but what to do?
Tip #1: if you don't already own one, go out and buy a
16L pot for Pesach. (And eventually, one for the rest of the year too.)
Either 1st thing in the morning or even late the night
before, throw in a whole chicken (at least) and tons of veggies and make a
giant chicken soup. Anytime someone is hungry - they can help themselves to
something filling and healthy. If you're up to something extra: defrost about a
kilo (2 lbs) of ground turkey/chicken/meat/whatever and ask someone to roll
them into balls and toss them into the soup (only when the soup is already
cooked and boiling).
Ftr – if you eat matzo balls, then you can do that
instead. If you don't, the chicken "matzo" balls add so much to the
soup. If you like them dense, just add 1 small egg per kilo. If you like them
fluffy, add a little mashed potatoes into the chopped meat and egg mixture, and
mix well. If the soup doesn't get finished erev chag, voila. You already have
your soup done for yomtov, with accompaniment.
Tip #2: I beg and plead all of you - when you're a mommy,
always follow the K.I.S.S. rule: keep it short and simple. Ignore Mishpacha and
all the magazines with intricate recipes. One pot, one pan, one bowl recipes
are your friend. If you have any extra time because you kept it simple, take a
nap or do something else that's fun/important (yes, sleeping is FUUUNNN).
Issue #3. Mommy exhaustion: does this need explanation??
Tip: If you keep it simple and are blessed to not run
behind, schedule time to nap - for you and the kids - before the seder. It
probably won't work out because: the baby is teething, has an ear-infection,
the toddler woke him up, etc etc. But some years it will! And those years will
be awesoooome! Been there, done that too :) If you can't fall asleep, just
lying in bed for 15 minutes breathing deeply, really letting yourself let go
and let G-d, can be just as rejuvenating as a long nap.
Issue #4. The kids won't nap: Sometimes those little
brains are racing with ideas or they’re just super-excited for Pesach or they
have something on their minds that’s worrying them. Either way they can’t
settle down and it causes 1 of 2 things to happen: either they miss seder
altogether cuz they fall asleep at the beginning OR are crabby throughout.
Tip: I have yet to figure out this one. I have bribed,
threatened, cuddled, you name it. Only thing I haven't tried (and hopefully
never will) is drugging them. If you find something (legal) that works, share
it. I will say that when you have just a baby, the rule is “sleep when the baby
sleeps.” Outsource as much as possible (although that often isn't possible).
When the kids are older, I have a fantastic trick that I use that works for
every age child over 4-5 y.o. Be”H, will share it in the future.
Bottom Line: Basically, the more physical factors get
taken care of, the more room that frees up for the spiritual. This is something
we’ve forgotten: the physical can’t exclusively be “the enemy” of the spiritual
(it’s not) because the spiritual needs the physical to manifest - the soul has
NO expression without the body.
The only time the physical literally becomes the enemy of
the spiritual is when they are confused as to who is the vehicle and who is the
driver. The animal soul is perfectly happy being the vehicle IF:
a) the G-dly soul is driving and
b) we are not asking the animal to run on empty.
As we will see tomorrow Be”H, our greatest enemy in this
particular battle is Time and our perception of it. When we win that battle,
minute to minute and even second to second, that changes not only what our
Pesach looks like but what the rest of the year looks like. And that is
Pesach’s role by definition. TBC...
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