LEIL HASEDER for MOMMIES

Installment #1 - Intro 

Sem teachers spend a lot of time preparing young Jewish women for motherhood. The truth is though, nothing really prepares students for that huge transformation of Jewish woman into Jewish mother. Before motherhood, you have time to examine and fulfill your own spiritual needs. But when you're living it, it can be, ironically, soul-crushing, despite hearing Chasidic explanations about "the holiness of the mundane" til your ears hurt.

Alumni have been reaching out by email, phone or in person, saying "it's so hard, Gila." I had a student tell me recently that she felt she had to choose between motherhood and halacha, that she only had enough energy for one of those, at any given moment. I emailed my rabbi (a well-known Chabad posek) asking if there is a book addressing the issues confronting mothers of young children. His response was "no, there isn't, but what an excellent idea! You should definitely write it!" In bold, G-d bless him. I wrote back "only if you help me." He agreed and that's how the initiative for my latest project "The Mommy's Shuchan Aruch" or "Yiddishkeit for Mummies," was born.

Many women will wake up Pesach morning in a panic saying "I slept through Magid!" (If I got a dime for every woman who lamented to me remorsefully "I nodded off, at the table, right after mah nishtana…" I would be a rich woman indeed.) When we're busy preparing physically for the seder, it doesn't always leave time and energy to prepare spiritually. And that's what I find they are upset about - not the exhaustion they felt, but the FOMO and sense of loss of "I was looking forward to it and I blew it." This is true for many holidays, but right now I'm starting with right now. (See what I did there? ;) ) Jewish mommies are mommies (BARUCH HASHEM!!!) but we are still Jews - so what to do in terms of avodas Hashem?

Be"H, I will be tackling each holiday as soon as I can and eventually will compile it into something a little more organized. The Rebbe always said "if you know Alef – teach Alef." So here we go. Pesach is around the corner – what can we do?

Breaking It Down:

I think there are 3 issues that need to be clarified:

1. the halacha – what is a mother of small children obligated to do?

2. tips on how to do it, given the myriad challenges and the constrictions of time, space and other mortal limitations…

3. discussing the undiscussed spiritual significance of what you are doing physically as a mother.

This unit will cover only how to (hopefully) help women have a more meaningful seder night. Regarding cleaning for Pesach – ask your friendly neighbourhood rabbi and pray. (Should G-d give me the chochmah, strength and time, I hope by next year to have that written up.) Be"H, I will post the entire unit/pamphlet in installments, so it's less taxing to read. With G-d's help, I hope to post daily this week. Shavua tov and chodesh tov :)